Dear New Autism Mom

Dear Allison,

I heard about little Lukey’s diagnosis today.

Enter the parade of idiot well wishers and their pitiful expressions.  You’re about to hear a ton of “I’m sorrys”, and a few thousand “everything happens for a reasons”, and even several hundred “I know how you feels.”

This is crap.

No one knows how you feel.  Except for you.

The parade of idiots means well.  They just don’t know what to say.

I should know.  I am one of those idiots.

Because truth be told, I have absolutely no idea how you feel…but I do know something about how to get through this.

And you will get through this.  And I will be here to help you, if you’ll let me.

Raising a child with autism is tough.

And sometimes scary.

It is challenging.  And expensive.

And often riddled with anxiety.  And frustration.

The moment you receive that diagnosis for your child, your world shatters.

You cry a while.  You mourn the child you dreamed you would have.

It is good and healthy to mourn.  You must.

But slowly and eventually you will grow a sense of humor, and you’ll get up and get on with it.

And you will find yourself laughing at the things that once made you cry.

It’s been almost a decade since Zion’s diagnosis.  And now we laugh our butts off most days.

Sure sometimes we cry.  And scream.  And cuss a little.

Or a lot.

Just last night Zion was watching Toy Story in the media room, and I was cleaning up the living room.

I found yet another shattered glass behind the couch, and I yelled, “What the!”

And without missing a beat, Zion finished my sentence by yelling “F%#k!” from the other room.

Yup.

So you learn to laugh.

And you stop buying glass.

And you clean up your mouth so it doesn’t get repeated by little 10 year old mockingbirds.

Every day you will get stronger.  You will carefully choose those you allow to dwell in your village.  You will fight and yell and cry and scream at your doctors, your insurance company, even yourself.

It is all a part of making you the awesome warrior mom beast you are about to become.  And I will be right here next to you holding my sword.

But for today let’s just drop the armor and cry a while.

 

All my love,

Angie

 

Example of handwriting with gold pen

 

 

  One thought on “Dear New Autism Mom

  1. April 5, 2015 at 2:38 am

    This is sooooo famiar to me. I too have a 10 year old mockingbird🙂

    • April 6, 2015 at 10:55 am

      It has certainly taught me to be more careful about what I say. 🙂

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